piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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