She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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