Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
