Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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