he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
