Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
