I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
