TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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