from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
