Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
