Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
