Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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