ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
