I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
