May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
