Joe is yelling at the trees again.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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