How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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