I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
