Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
