Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
