His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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