I hate your face
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
