The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize