She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
