ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
