dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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