A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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