I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
