Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
