You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
