he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
no, he came in my armpit
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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