im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
