Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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