You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
