Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Randomize
