just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
