I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
