hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i now understand why vodka
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
