we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
