Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize