i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
