Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
