Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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