One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
