No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
