there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
