Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
