Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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