is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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