i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
