Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
