office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
