ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
