Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
