I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
