I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize