i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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