So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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