so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
