i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
