I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
