They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
