shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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