Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he fucked my hip out of place.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Damn victory sex feels great
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