And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize