Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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