you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
