I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
