I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have aggressive nipples.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
do nipples grow back?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
